Almost Perfect by Tamara Martin

Author:Tamara Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tamara Martin
Published: 2018-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

I raced around the market in a blur of frenetic energy. I’d woken feeling hopeful and then reality set in. Now I was trying to outrun it, outrun the heaviness building inside me, the sadness that threatened to overwhelm me, and the hatred for a world in which I had no say or control over my own life.

It was all good and well for neither of us to like or agree with the situation we were in, but it still remained, this was the way our world was and no matter how much we hated it, I would continue to see Jack in public with dates. Images of him pleasing all manner of women would continue to fill my head. So now I had to fill my time with mundane chores like filling a shopping basket with milk, wine and comfort food to fill the gaping hole spreading in my soul.

At home, I filled a glass with wine and went about rearranging my wardrobe, my new favourites at one end, the stuff I hated hidden in the middle. I prepared my clothes for washing. The cleaning lady Stacey had organised would come while I was at work, so I made sure it was all ready for her. Except my contraband college issue nightdress. I rinsed that in the sink, hanging it over the shower rail until it was dry, and then I hid it at the back of my drawer. I couldn’t have some nosey cleaning lady reporting back to Stacey that I’d held on to college issue clothing.

In the afternoon, I prepared a small piece of roast beef, potatoes, carrots and pumpkin just like the cooks had done at the college every Sunday and slid it into the oven to roast. I tried not to think of Miss Milly, my friends, everyone I’d left behind. I’d promised I’d never forget them. But I had.

I’d become so caught up in my new life, in Jack, in my misery that I’d pushed them to the back of my mind. That’s what this life had done to me, the person it had made me.

Sarah and Mish were about to celebrate their birthdays and I hadn’t even thought to send a card. They would be shipped off to their new lives, naïve and unsuspecting and no doubt full of excitement about what lay ahead.

I wondered who had recruited them. Where they would end up? They were both were smart. They’d have done well in recruitment. They’d land on their feet in prestigious positions. Neither would have any idea of the world that awaited them. I desperately wanted to tell them, get a message to them. But there was no way to contact them. Even a birthday card wasn’t safe from inspection. They’d have to find out for themselves. I sent out a wish, hoping they’d never fall in love. It’d be easier that way.

There was a knock at the door that startled me so much I almost spilt my wine.

‘Who is it?’ I called, thinking if it was a nosey neighbour, I wasn’t even getting up to answer it.

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